


Over And Over

by Its_Raining_Here



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Depressed Sans (Undertale), Drowning, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Overdose On Pills, Papyrus (Undertale) Remembers Resets, Sans (Undertale) Remembers Resets, Suicidal Sans (Undertale), Worried Papyrus (Undertale), suicide warning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-05
Updated: 2020-11-05
Packaged: 2021-03-09 01:28:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,233
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27406579
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Its_Raining_Here/pseuds/Its_Raining_Here
Summary: You've been stuck in a time loop for 15 years. You think you deserve a break, right?
Comments: 13
Kudos: 89





	Over And Over

**Author's Note:**

> SUICIDE WARNING  
> If this makes you uncomfortable, please don't read this.

How many times has this happened?

How many times has the human killed Papyrus?

How many times has the human killed everyone?

How many times have you failed to stop them?

You can’t tell if it’s blood, determination, or ketchup dripping from the slash across your chest.

Does it really matter, though?

“welp, i’m goin to grillbys.”

You stumble away, back turned to the human.

“papyrus...do you want...anything…?”

The world fades to black.

———————-

You wake up in your bed, staring at the ceiling. Instinctively, your hands reach to your chest, where a huge gash should be.

But there’s nothing there.

Another reset.

Another day of watching everyone you love be murdered.

Another day of being a worthless brother.

Another day of breaking promises you so desperately try to keep.

Maybe you can just...sit this one out?

After all, spending 15 years in a time loop of the same week gets pretty tiring.

If you’re not around to see the horrors of this reset, what harm could it do?

No one would even notice you were gone.

No one would even remember.

The next time there was a reset, you’d be back like it never happened.

Unfortunately.

Getting up from your bed, you open the bottom drawer of your dresser, pulling out the slightly dusty kitchen knife you know all too well.

You had taken it from the kitchen when Flowey was still in charge of the resets, so at least it stays here throughout the new ones. Papyrus never even noticed it was gone.

Running your hand over the cuts on your arm, you reminisce about when everyone was happy. 

When you were happy.

Haha.

Funny how that works.

The guy who tries to keep everyone happy is secretly a depressed piece of shit who can’t even save his own brother.

Yeah. Hilarious.

You summon your soul, and hold it in your hand, knife in the other. It’s littered with small cracks, a huge chunk of it is just gone, and the once bright white glow is now a dim, sickly grey.

How you’ve managed to survive with this kind of damage to your soul, you have no idea.

_May as well get it over with._

Quickly, so you don’t have time to rethink it, you plunge the knife into the center of your soul.

It hurts like hell, but you don’t scream. 

You can feel your own body starting to disintegrate.

The world fades to black.

———————-

You wake up on your bed, staring at the ceiling. 

It happened too fast for your liking. You were hoping you could stay dead for a while longer.

Maybe you can sit this one out too.

You get up, and open the bottom drawer of your dresser.

The knife is gone.

_What? Where the hell is my knife?_

Oh well, not like a knife is the only thing that can kill you.

Teleporting to the bathroom, you open the medicine cabinet.

_Bingo._

Grabbing the box of sleeping pills, you teleport back to your room. Papyrus doesn’t deserve to find your dust on his clean floor. Better to do it in the dump you call your room.

You open the box, and pour all of the pills in your mouth, swallowing them dry. Since they’re magic, they’re absorbed instantly.

The perks of being a monster.

Well, okay, maybe it’s not a good thing. Because you don’t feel very sleepy after that. Your whole body is shaking so much that it hurts. Everything hurts. You feel nauseous.

Your door opens, and you can faintly recognize who it is.

_Well, fuck._

You were really hoping Papyrus wouldn’t see you like this. Writhing on the floor, with dead eye sockets, and an empty box of pills.

“Brother? I thought I heard y- Sans?!”

The world fades to black, and the last thing you hear is Papyrus crying your name.

———————-

You wake up in your bed, staring at the ceiling.

How could you put him through that? You're worse than the human at this point, making your baby brother watch you dust from an overdose.

You’re so happy he can’t remember the resets. 

You want to sit out this reset too.

Not even bothering to check your dresser for the knife, you teleport to Waterfall, straight into the dump.

You stand over the edge of a pit. No one knows what’s at the bottom. 

Guess you’ll be the first one to find out.

You let yourself fall into the abyss. Falling takes a long time, surprisingly. After a few minutes of falling, you crash face first into a body of water.

The impact alone is enough to kill you, and you turn to dust instantly.

———————-

You wake up in your bed, staring at the ceiling.

Maybe you should just sit out all of the resets.

Yeah. That sounds kind of fun.

Finding the most creative ways to kill yourself, just so you don’t have to watch everyone else die. 

Maybe the kid didn’t kill anyone in the past few resets.

Maybe they’re looking for you. 

Haha.

Yeah right.

Since last time, the impact of falling killed you, you wonder what drowning feels like.

Teleporting to Waterfall again, you appear right next to the river cutting through the whole region. 

_Perfect._

Jumping into the water, you don’t even bother holding in your breath. You inhale as much water as you can.

You cough. It burns, but it feels good. 

The release of death feels good. 

Wow, there must really be something wrong with you.

Who knew that freezing cold water could burn?

It takes a long time to drown, apparently. Maybe having no lungs is just adding to the wait time.

You wish it would be done faster.

But maybe you deserve this.

You deserve the suffering that comes with drowning.

After letting everyone die, while you watch from a distance, you deserve all the pain in the Underground.

After what feels like hours, you can finally see the world going black, and your body starts to dust.

You hear footsteps, growing more frantic as they get louder. 

_Why can’t I just die in peace?!_

It’s a tall figure, covered in what looks like armor, and a red shape sprouting from the top.

It’s Undyne.

_Great._

She tries to pull you out of the water, but you’ve already gone too far to be saved. 

You can hear her yelling, probably in anger. 

It’s no surprise, really. Of course she would be mad at you. She has every reason to. 

You let her die so many times.

Why can’t she let _you_ die?

Before she’s able to “save” you, the world goes black.  
———————-

You wake up in your bed, staring at the ceiling.

You want to die, and you want to stay dead. 

Forever. 

Of course, with the resets, there's really no way to guarantee that.

No matter how many times you do it, you’ll just end up right back at the start.

What a shame.

Getting up, you walk over to your dresser, and slam your head into the corner.

Small pieces of your skull fall off from the impact.

You do it again, harder this time.

Half of your skull is just _gone._

There’s no saving you.

You hear running footsteps rushing down the hall.

_No. No no no._

He can’t see you like this.

You ram your skull, (or what remains of it) into the dresser one last time, and everything starts to go black.

Your brother flings open the door, but you’re already dust when he gets there.

———————-

You wake up in your bed, staring at the ceiling.

Fully prepared to off yourself again, you get up. 

Sitting on your bed, you realize what changed last time. 

Your brother ran into your room to stop you.

It’s never happened like that before.

_He couldn’t...no. He can’t possibly…_

_Right?_

Papyrus has never shown any signs of remembering the resets. Sure he gets the deja vu from the human, but that's all.

Why would he march to his death over, and over again, if he knew it never changes?

Once again, pounding footsteps are heard from the hall. Papyrus bursts into your room, tears already streaming down his eye sockets.

“Oh thank god!”

He runs over to you, and pulls you into the biggest hug.

“B-Brother! I’m so g-glad I got to you in t-time!” He cries.

Shakily, you lift up your arms to return the hug. 

How the hell have you never noticed? Papyrus remembered resets. 

And you made him watch you kill yourself over, and over.

“i-i’m so sorry p-paps.” You’re crying now, too.

Why are you crying? This is your fault.

If you had known he remembered, you never would’ve done this.

Not releasing you from the hug, Papyrus picks you up, and sits down on your bed. 

“W-why? Why would you d-do that, Sans?” He asks softly.

“...i j-just wanted a break.” You reply.

Papyrus holds you tighter.

“I didn’t even think y-you remembered them.”

“same to you, p-paps.”

“...Can...can you promise m-me something?” He asks.

“a-anything for you, bro.”

He pauses before speaking.

“Promise me that you won't do that. Please! I don’t want you to hurt yourself, Sans.” Papyrus is crying even more than before. 

It hurts worse than dying.

At least dying ended your suffering. Seeing Papyrus cry, though. That hurts far more than anything you’ve done to yourself.

And you caused this.

“i-i promise. i won’t d-do that to you, ever a-again.” You’ll do anything to make him happy again.

Papyrus pulls away from the hug to look you in the eye sockets. 

“Have you...ever harmed yourself before? C-Can I see your arms, please?”

No point in hiding it now. 

Reluctantly, you pull your arms away from him to roll up your sleeves. The fabric brushes against the cuts in your bone, making you hiss through your teeth. Papyrus finches at the sound, his worry for you is probably through the roof by now.

Papyrus lets out a not-so-soft gasp when he sees your mangled bones. Cuts, chips, cracks, and even some writing is engraved in the bone.

_Be happy._

_Remember to smile._

A few moments of shocked silence drag on for what feels like years before Papyrus speaks.

“S-Sans, I...I’m so sorry. I-I should’ve noticed sooner!” He carefully held your arms in his gloved hands, studying the marks.

“s’okay bro. you didn’t know.” You hurry to reassure him.

“No, it’s not okay! I should’ve been there to help you get better!”

You can’t look at him. Not now.

“L-lets get these healed up, okay?”

“why bother? they’ll be back in the next reset anyways.”

“Then I’ll heal them again when the time comes!”

You sigh.

Papyrus holds your arms, and uses a gentle healing spell on them. A soft, green light dances around the room, healing the scars and cuts from over the years.

The healing magic feels warm. Not the unbearable heat of Hotland, but like being wrapped in a blanket.

Your arms slowly start to look fully healed, but they’re still a bit sore. That’s to be expected. After all, you had mutilated them horribly. It would be strange if they didn’t hurt.

The glowing green magic fades away, leaving you arms looking good as new. Papyrus let’s go of your arms, and looks you in the eye sockets.

“I’m not going to force you to talk to me, Sans. No matter how much I want you to tell me what you're feeling, I would never make you do anything that you don’t want to.” Papyrus says with a sigh.

That’s a relief, because you really don’t feel like spilling your metaphorical guts out for all to see.

“thanks pap. i...i’ll tell you someday. just not today. maybe if we can get one reset to stick for a while.”

“I-I understand.” He sits up, still holding you. “Well, why don’t we go down for breakfast, and then go on our patrol?”

“sounds great bro.”

“We can get Cinnamon Bunnies on the way if you’d like.”

“yeah, that sounds nice.” A small, but genuine smile forms on your face.

“Let’s be on our way then, we have a human to meet!”

———————-

The human didn’t kill anyone.

They played along with Papyrus’ puzzles.

You don’t think you’ve ever seen him so happy before.

The kid got everyone to the surface.

They don’t go with Toriel immediately, instead staying behind to talk to you.

“No more resets, Sans. It’s over now.” They say.

You don’t look at them.

“promise?”

“...I promise”

You pull them into a hug, not letting your tears fall just yet.

“th-thank you, kid…”

———————-

It’s been exactly two years since monsterkind was freed. Papyrus wants to have a celebratory picnic under the stars with everyone.

You sit next to your telescope, the one Papyrus had gotten you for your birthday, and point out all the constellations and stars in the sky.

The kid looks happy, snacking on chips as you explain the meanings behind some constellations names.

After the picnic is over, you all head back home. Toriel tucks the kid in bed, and Papyrus carries you back to your shared room.

You read him Hide And Seek With Fluffy Bunny, until he falls asleep. Slowly, you make your way back to your bed, falling asleep under your soft blanket covered in a starry pattern.

Maybe, just maybe, you could be happy.

**Author's Note:**

> I've been writing mostly sad stuff recently, so I couldn't bring myself to actually put this in there. But can you imagine the horror Sans would feel, if after everything, Frisk still reset?
> 
> Alternate Ending:
> 
> You wake up in Snowdin, staring at the ceiling.
> 
> You scream.


End file.
